R1/2 -- Chris Coliins (artc@mastnet.net)

	(CUTE VOICE: Ahem.  This Shampoo again--as if you no guess by accent.  Kind
and generous wheelchair boy let Shampoo open story this time too, and
Shampoo so HAPPY! *clapclap*) (OLD VOICE: Did somebody call my name?) (CUTE
VOICE: Shampoo no call Freak of Nature!  Now shut up!  This my monologue!)
(OLD VOICE: Well!  Excuse me for living!) (CHEF'S NOTE: Oh, come now.  You
know we can't do that.)

	(CUTE VOICE: Ahem!  Author also want apolo... apologe... say he sorry for
Stupid Spatula Girl yelling all through last fanfic.  He say she have PBS.)
(OLD VOICE: Uh?  I believe that's PMS, dearie.) (CHEF'S NOTE: WHAT!  He
actually said that!?!  I'll kill 'im!)

	(CUTE VOICE: Ahem!  And I would like to say....) (CHEF'S NOTE: The nerve of
that bastard!  I do NOT have PMS!) (OLD VOICE: I can check for you.) (CUTE
VOICE: EEEW!) !SMACK! (OLD VOICE: Look at all the beatiful.... *Plop*)

	(CUTE VOICE: Now as Shampoo saying....  Oh, well....  On with show.)

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              |       An Iron Dagger Production        |
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	Ranma-kun folded his arms and frowned.  _Why did I talk myself into this?_

	Miko grabbed his arm and tried to turn him around.  "Come on, Guardian
Spirit.  Show me how I'm supposed to stand again."

	He glanced at her.  "But didn't you have someplace you needed to go?"

	Miko pulled with all her might and managed to make him take a few steps.
She was practically whining: "I was just going to check the rice fields, but
I'm sure they'll still be there later."

	"Ha ha." (meant sarcastically)

	"Now show me how to stand."  She released his arm and jumped in front of
him, worried.  "You're not backing out?  You ARE going to to teach me how to
fight?  Aren't you?"  A few tears welled in her eyes, but Ranma was almost
certain she was doing that on purpose.

	"Well I... it's not... well...."

	Miko's eyes widened and glazed with sadness.  "Pleeeaaaassssse!" (CHEF'S
NOTE: Aw, put a sock in it, Sugar!)

	Ranma groaned and rested his forehead in his hand.  He looked up to see
Miko smiling furiously, realizing her victory. (CHEF'S NOTE: Evil
temptress!)  She snapped into an awkward karate stance, probably trying to
mimic his own.

	"We'll start..."  Miko looked confused when he picked her up and set her
down again.  "...by standing like this."  She looked down at herself; she
was standing as she normally stood, fully erect, feet together.  She looked
up and smiled.

              -----------===================-----------
              |        Writen and Directed by:        |
              |        Christopher Lee Collins        |
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	"Ok.  Punch my hand."  Ranma held out his left hand, palm outward, his
other hand in his pocket, a half-way serious look on his face.

	Miko stood facing her guardian, feet slightly apart, and stared at her
balled fist as if it was a complex puzzle.  "Are you sure about this?"
Ranma nodded once.

	Miko pulled back her fist and hesitated before driving a solid punch into
his hands.  She seemed thrilled.  "How was that?"

	Ranma's smile was unconvincing.  He hardly felt a thing.  "Care to try again?"

	Miko's brow furrowed.  Her hand stung a little, but she drew it back anyway
and thrust it forward again.  This time, her guardian's expression was
blank--so maybe she was improving.  

	Ranma suggested, "Try throwing your shoulder into the punch."  He fought
back the many snide comments he could have added.

	Miko nodded, then punched again.  Her guardian gave a faint smile.  She
punched again, and again, and again, despite the throbbing in her fingers.

	Ranma thought she'd do better if he could just make her use her battle
aura.  He taunted, "C'mon, you can do better than that."  Harder punch.
"That was alittle weak.  Is that all you've got?"  Punch.  Punch.  Better.
"C'mon, I can hardly feel a thing."  Miko growled.  Punch.  Punch.  Punch.
Better still.  "You hit like a girl."  _Oops._

	Ranma saw Miko's fist, glowing with energy, heading straight for his head,
but he made no effort to move--he deserved it.  The blow hit him right
between the eyes--it felt like being pelted by a small beanbag.

              -----------===================-----------
              |    Based on Characters Created by:    |
              |           Rumiko Takahashi            |
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	"I'm sorry!  I shouldn't have hit you!"

	"Don't worry 'bout it."  Ranma smiled at her.  He was about to say 'It was
nothing', but the harsh truth of the words might send her into tears, and he
definitely didn't want that.  Miko was already bringing herself into a
depression for lashing out at him.  _Man!  She has more mood swings than
Ryouga!_  "I shouldn't have tried to make you mad like that."  She didn't
seem to have anything to say about that.

	"Now, le'me see how well you can kick."  He happily held out his hand about
head-high, palm down.

	Miko sniffled once and looked at his hand in disbelief.  "You want me to
kick THAT high?  But I'm just starting out."

	Ranma folded his arms, feeling a bit of an idiot. (CHEF'S NOTE: That's my
Ranchan!)  "Ok.  So how high can you kick?"

	She stood up straight, cleared her throat, and focused on a point in space.
With a slight windup, she counted to three and tossed her foot up to her
chest level and still managed to keep her balance.

	Ranma's smile grew.  It was an awkward kick, but at least she had balance
and a modest height.  _At least it's somethin to work with._  He stuck his
hand back out at her chest level. (CHEF'S NOTE: You better not, Ranchan!)

	Miko was excited.  Her guardian was impressed!  She narrowed her eyes at
his hand, wound up, and kicked as she did last time.  But her foot overshot
the target and landed on top of his hand.  "Hn?"  Her leg tensed and she
fell backward, but Ranma caught her before she hit the ground.

	She stared into Ranma's eyes, feeling the firmness of his arms around hers,
and that, combined with how much the fall had scared her, was too much for
her to handle.  She buried herself into his shoulders and shuddered. (CHEF'S
VOICE: DAMN YOU!  THAT SHOULD BE ME IN RANCHAN'S ARMS! Not... you....
*Sniffle*) (OLD VOICE: Oh, dear.  She's changing on us.)

	Ranma sighed heavily and closed his eyes in thought.

              -----------===================-----------
              |      Ranma Saotome and Miko Lee       |
              |                  in:                  |
              -----------===================-----------

	Ranma sat on the ground, legs crossed, eyes closed.  _Oh, man.  What am I
going to do?  What am I going to tell Miko?  She doesn't have a strong punch
and she doesn't have an accurate kick.  It'd take years to get her half as
good as those guys I fought earlier._

	"Guardian Spirit?"  Ranma opened his eyes.  Miko was sitting in front of
him like a student that had dishonored his--her--master.  "I'm not any good,
am I?  I really am useless." (CHEF'S NOTE: *sob* You finally realize that?)

	Ranma felt striken when he noticed that her cheeks were wet.  "Don't say
that.  You're really not that bad."  _Ok, now I'm stretching it a bit._

	"I'm just not good enough," Miko droned.  Ranma groaned at her insecurity,
but said nothing.  He felt like there was something he was missing,
something that he'd overlooked that Miko could use to her advantage, but he
couldn't think of what is was.

	Miko noticed that her guardian was sweating, and he seemed frustrated.
(CHEF'S NOTE: Probably straining to think.)  She looked up to the sky; the
sun was directly overhead and not a cloud blotted the blue expanse.  _It's
probably the heat._  She felt her face, and it stung a bit to the touch.
"Guardian Spirit, won't you get sunburned sitting out here with no shirt on?"

	"Hn?"  Ranma looked up, poked at his skin, and shrugged.  "I guess so.  But
you have my shirt, remember.  And all yours would probably be too small for
a guy."

	Miko blushed, then pulled Ranma's sliced shirt from somewhere beneath hers.
Ranma watched in amazement as Miko's arms buzzed around it in a blur of
motion.  In two seconds, the shirt looked flawless.

	She handed it to Ranma, who accepted it wordlessly.  He slipped it on and
started buttoning it, still confused, then he saw the makeshift needle and
thread in her hand.  His face brightened and he slapped his fist into his palm.

              -----------===================-----------
              |             NYANNIICHUAN              |
              |          "Very Tragic Story"          |
              |                Part 4                 |
              |  "Anything-Goes Martial Arts Sewing"  |
              -----------===================-----------

	"Are you sure about this, Guardian Spirit?"  Miko looked questionably at
the needle and thread in her hands, them at her guardian, who stood
confidently about thirty paces away.  "It's not exactly what I expected."

	Ranma called back, "Trust me.  Almost anything can be turned into martial
arts.  I know someone who'd turned COOKING into a fighting style. (CHEF'S
NOTE: *sniffle* huh?  Could Ranchan really be talking about me?  HE
REMEMBERS ME!) He mumbled to himself, "And Akane's cooking is downright
lethal if you ask me." (CHEF'S NOTE: Jackass.)

	"What was that, Guardian Spirit?"

	He shook his head.  "Oh.  Nothing."

	Miko jumped up and down, flustered.  "But what do you expect me to do?!  I
can't even defend myself!"

	Ranma gestured a bit impatiently.  "Sure you can, Miko!  You may not be
that strong, but you're fast enough to put up a pretty decent defense.  You
can make a really great martial artist."  _Whoa.  That was spreading it a
little thick._  He though of how Ryouga tried to teach Akane Rhythmic
Gymnastics and shuddered at what he might become.

	Miko blushed.  _*dreamy sigh* Did he really mean that?!_  She felt a tingly
sensation run up her back. (CHEF'S NOTE: DREAMY SIGH?!  What the hell's she
doing with a dreamy sigh?!)

	"Yo, Miko!"  She snapped herself out of her daze.  Ranma seemed excited.
"Ok, I'm going to run over and pretend like I'm gonna to attack you.  Sew
the first thing you can think of to stop me."

	Miko cast her eyes down a bit, still unsure about the whole thing.  "Ok, if
you say so."

	She looked up and Ranma started running toward her.  He was suddenly right
in front of her before she even knew that he'd moved.  "Eeeek!"  Her arms
moved in a panicked flurry, and just as Ranma placed a gentle fingertip on
her forehead, she threw a beautifully designed potholder against his chest.

	"Hn?"  Ranma groaned and let his head slump forward.  _This is gonna take a
while._

		

	Reikiba and Doshin sat at the small table in the livingroom.  Doshin was
sitting upright with his arms folded and eyes shut, meditating on his
problems and getting really depressed.  Reikiba was leaning toward him,
elbow on table, head resting on his hand, trying to strike a meaningful
conversation.

	The samurai went on to descibe his journey from the Chinese coast to the
mainland.  "And so there I was, traveling to Tailou inside the lion's wagon
of a traveling circus. (CUTE VOICE: What?  As World's Stupidest Man?)  The
ringleader assured me that it was the one place that no one would think of
looking, and you know... HE WAS RIGHT.  It was a new experience for me to
handfeed the big cats by hand.  They put up quite a fuss in the beginning,
but they settled down when they got to know me better.  I guess fanged
warriors have to stick together. (CUTE VOICE: He definitely related to Pig Boy.)

	"Of course, I don't know why those nice gypsies wanted to kill me.  They
said something about walking in on one of their mating rituals or something
like that.  But they finally gave up and looked elsewhere, and I paid the
ringleader what he thought was a fair price...."

	*thump* ZZZZZZ....

	Reikiba looked at him curiously.  "Mr. Lee?  Mr. Lee?  Are you awake?"

	"Wha?"  Doshin lifted his head off the table and stared around with
squinted eyes, then rubbed the back of his head and slumped down in
depression once more.  _It was bad enough I had a headache BEFORE he started
talking, but now he's putting me to sleep.  I can't afford to fall asleep now._

	Reikiba looked worried.  "Is there something wrong?  Is there something I
can do to help?"

	Doshin's eyes snapped open and his heart beat faster as he just remembered
something very important.  He looked at Mr. Hibiki sternly.  "I realize that
it is I who owes you a debt and we have only recently aquainted ourselves,
but I must make a very important request."

	The samurai straightened up in his chair and listened carefully.

	"You must leave and allow no one to come near this cottage until sundown.
Sadly, that includes my daughter and her friend."  The samurai started to
say something, but Doshin added, "Please, do not ask questions.  Just go."

	Reikiba raised his eyebrows and scratched his head.  Doshin leaned forward.
"Please.  It is an unusual request, but it is vital.  You must go now."  The
samurai stood up and bowed, promising by his samurai honor that he would
carry out the unusual request.  He drew his sword and rested it on his
shoulder, then started whistling as he strolled out the door.

	Doshin grabbed an oddly-shaped berry from his robe and popped it into his
mouth.  _That's one headache gone.  I hope I'm ready for an even bigger one._

		

	It had been so long since Reikiba had been asked to perform any sort of
meaningful task.  He was happy to comply.  Ever since he'd become a ronin,
he'd just been wandering without a purpose.

	He looked at his bokken as if it were a long, lost friend whom he was
trying to get to know again, then he started circling the house to make sure
no one was around.  He found Twilight resting near the wall behind the cottage.

	He bent down and gently shook her awake.  "Cat?  Oh, Miss Cat?  Could you
please get up?  You can't sleep here right now."

	Twilight raised her head with a start, wondering what was going on, then
turned toward the samurai with eyes of fire. (NOTE: Literally.  I mean her
eyes were glowing with fire.)

	Reikiba put a hand behind his head and laughed.  "Please excuse me for
interrupting your beauty sleep, Miss.  But I really must ask you to find
another resting spot this afternoon."  Twilight looked up at him with her
you're-either-incredibly-brave-or-incredibly-stupid gaze.

	The samurai was a bit taken aback, as if he had just been slapped in the
face.  "Well, you don't need to take that tone with me, young lady.  I'm
just doing what Mr. Lee asked me to."  Her ears perked up at her master's
name, and her eyes returned to their normal green.

	"Now that's more like it."  Reikiba stood up and dusted his robe off, then
gestured for her to walk ahead of him.  "Let's take a walk, shall we?  We
can share all our wonderful adventures together."

	They both headed for the jungle, Twilight rolling her eyes with her new
does-he-really-expect-me-to-talk-back look.  The samurai took a deep breath.
"I was just telling Mr. Lee about the time I was traveling with a circus to
escape a band of gypsies...."

		

	As Reikiba and Twilight disappeared into the treeline, a midnight-cloaked
figure exitted the jungle on the opposite side of the cottage.  His
footfalls made no noise as he strode across the grass toward the little
house, as if he were riding on the cool breeze that suddenly started blowing
from his direction.  Birds stopped chirping at his unnatural prescence, but
one by one, they started singing again as they recognized that he was as
much a part of nature as they were.

	The figure held out his arm and watched as a golden butterfly lit on his
sleeve.  He smiled faintly as it slowly fluttered its wings, finding him
strangly interesting.

	A crow swiftly descended and snatched the insect into its beak, then
perched itself on his arm where the bug lit.  It stared into the figure's
darkened face with glowing, yellow eyes and downed its prey.

	The figure chuckled darkly, "Not much of a destiny, is it?"